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Treating with Grief and Loss

Grief is the natural emotional response to the loss of someone close, such as a family member or friend. Grief can also occur after a serious illness, a divorce or other significant losses. Grief often involves intense sadness, and sometimes feelings of shock and numbness, or even denial and anger. For most people, the intensity of grief eases over time and the episodes of grief become less frequent.

Grief is a process or journey that affects everyone differently. It can be exhausting and emotionally draining. This can make it hard to do simple things or even leave the house. Some people cope by becoming more active. Grief has no set pattern. It is expressed differently across different cultures. Some people like to be expressive and public with their emotions, while others like to keep their feelings private.

Most people find that grief lessens with time. A person who loses a loved one may always carry sadness and miss the person who has died, but they are able to find meaning and experience pleasure again. Some people even find new wisdom and strength after experiences of loss.

Types of Grief and Loss​

People may feel grief over:

  • the death of a loved one — grief can be particularly severe following the death of an infant or child, or a suicide

  • divorce or separation

  • the loss of a beloved pet

  • giving up something that mattered

  • work changes — for example, unemployment, retirement or retrenchment

  • the diagnosis of a terminal illness

  • the loss of good health because of an illness, accident or disability

  • miscarriage or infertility

  • having a child with a disability, a terminal illness, a mental illness or a substance abuse problem

  • moving away or separation from family or friends

  • having an ‘empty nest’ when children leave home

The feelings can be painful, constant or overwhelming. Grief can come in waves, seeming to fade away for a while before returning. But over time, the feelings usually do gradually subside.

Everybody reacts to grief differently. Common feelings include:

  • sadness

  • shock

  • denial

  • numbness, a sense of unreality

  • anger

  • guilt

  • blame

  • relief

You may need to seek help if you:

  • feel like grief makes it very difficult to do anything

  • have difficulty socialising

  • have difficulty sleeping

  • change the way you eat (lose your appetite or overeat)

  • experience intense and ongoing emotions such as anger, sadness, numbness, anxiety, depression, despair, emptiness and/or guilt

  • have thoughts of harming yourself

How Treatment for Grief Works

Psychological counselling has been clinically proven as a successful way to treat the majority of problems associated with or without medication. Given that my treatments adhere to best practice and modern research, your treatment plan will involve the following key components:​

  • Psycho-education (e.g., the role and functions of anxiety, how anxiety is processed in the brain, how anxiety disorders develop, etc.)

  • Changing behavioural and thinking patterns (e.g., learning to use relaxation/breathing skills, mindfulness skills, etc.)

  • Gradual desensitisation to the experience of anxiety and triggers of anxiety (e.g., learning to continue important tasks while experiencing anxiety, identifying and responding to triggers in a constructive manner, etc.)

The effects of grief can often resemble depression, and some people do develop depression following a significant loss. If you have persistent feelings of sadness and despair, and are unable to experience happiness, you may be experiencing grief related depression. If your feelings are getting in the way of your everyday life, then it’s important to seek help. For some people, grief might not lessen even after time passes. Grief can significantly disrupt their life, affecting jobs, relationships and how they interact in the community.

 

My aim is to make your experience of counselling accessible, enjoyable, and, most importantly, effective. I understand that seeking psychological support can be an anxiety-provoking experience. You are welcome to contact me and I will answer your questions.

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